I thought it would be fun this week to share the first words I wrote for A Desperate Love. These paragraphs didn't make it into the book but remain some of my favorite writing from that time. Originally, I started out with a dream sequence of sorts, focusing on what I highlight throughout the book; Olivia's nightmares and her desperate search for Tristen.
A few fun facts:
*I wrote the entire book at a small table (that I drug up from a cobwebby basement corner) in two large notebooks.
*I wrote the whole thing in first person, changing it later (don't ever do that).
*This very first appeared in a "free writing" notebook I wrote in at random.
The early light of dawn, it always draws me. Before the sun even peeks over the horizon, the dark begins to lift, turning the sky soft pinks and blues. It's there that I feel you. It's there that I remember your warmth.
The dawn is like you. I feel its presence, but I can't touch it. I'm in awe of it, breath taken. But it's always out of reach, mine and not mine. Somehow, I always find myself looking for you there. I search the horizon as if I might find you walking between where heaven meets earth.
And so it is, that I search like a lost girl, eyes roaming a pastel peace that rips out my heart and deals me a crushing blow. I find myself wishing my love could extract you from the divine painting before me. It is all for naught, because you're gone.
Even with this, I find myself walking in my flowing white chemise toward the horizon. The earth is misty with dew and a feathering of haze. I feel as if I can hear nothing but my own breath as I walk barefoot toward the awakening sky, hoping to find you there. I become one with the dream before me, my feet and hem drenched with dew.
I don't know how long I walk for. The pinks and blues give way to orange and scarlet, then gold and yellow. I sense I might lose you forever. My step quickens until I am in a full out run, chasing you, chasing the dawn. Heedless of branches, I push on. They scratch my arms and face. Mud cakes my feet and ankles. My heart pounds and my lungs burn.
Don't leave me! Come back! I stumble and get back up, raising my hand against the blinding light.
"Don't leave me," I whisper. I'm losing you, losing my way. The light is too bright. I trip and fall. I fall hard, and my wore out body radiates with pain. Someone calls my name and I gasp. My eyes shoot open, and I'm in the dark.
Okay, I did do a small edit on this. It was in need of commas and one sentence needed restructured. But other than that, these are my first words about Olivia. <3
A few fun facts:
*I wrote the entire book at a small table (that I drug up from a cobwebby basement corner) in two large notebooks.
*I wrote the whole thing in first person, changing it later (don't ever do that).
*This very first appeared in a "free writing" notebook I wrote in at random.
Enjoy!
The early light of dawn, it always draws me. Before the sun even peeks over the horizon, the dark begins to lift, turning the sky soft pinks and blues. It's there that I feel you. It's there that I remember your warmth.
The dawn is like you. I feel its presence, but I can't touch it. I'm in awe of it, breath taken. But it's always out of reach, mine and not mine. Somehow, I always find myself looking for you there. I search the horizon as if I might find you walking between where heaven meets earth.
And so it is, that I search like a lost girl, eyes roaming a pastel peace that rips out my heart and deals me a crushing blow. I find myself wishing my love could extract you from the divine painting before me. It is all for naught, because you're gone.
Even with this, I find myself walking in my flowing white chemise toward the horizon. The earth is misty with dew and a feathering of haze. I feel as if I can hear nothing but my own breath as I walk barefoot toward the awakening sky, hoping to find you there. I become one with the dream before me, my feet and hem drenched with dew.
I don't know how long I walk for. The pinks and blues give way to orange and scarlet, then gold and yellow. I sense I might lose you forever. My step quickens until I am in a full out run, chasing you, chasing the dawn. Heedless of branches, I push on. They scratch my arms and face. Mud cakes my feet and ankles. My heart pounds and my lungs burn.
Don't leave me! Come back! I stumble and get back up, raising my hand against the blinding light.
"Don't leave me," I whisper. I'm losing you, losing my way. The light is too bright. I trip and fall. I fall hard, and my wore out body radiates with pain. Someone calls my name and I gasp. My eyes shoot open, and I'm in the dark.
Okay, I did do a small edit on this. It was in need of commas and one sentence needed restructured. But other than that, these are my first words about Olivia. <3
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Book I'm reading:
Mark of the Raven by Morgan L. Busse
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Songs I'm listening to:
All the songs!
Nothing new, just all the songs I already love.
******
Quote of the week:
"I didn't learn how to fight because you taught me.
I learned because you didn't."
--Jessica McCarty
Yes, um, me.
I scribbled it down in that same original free writing journal. That was it, just this sentence rewritten three or four times amidst me making dinner and washing dishes. And also listening to Unsteady by X Ambassadors.
Blessings,
J 💙
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